Class cancel

ok...yesterday was...quite nerves-ing *is that a word* well i wen to atten my nyt class in the afrernoon my 1st day ofcoz..but no one was there heheh i waited for more or less half an hour but nada orang so yea...heheh na pedah2 ja nerves sampai na makan apa hehee :P i'll start my class on monday lagi....ok im blur :S chow...

feeling a bit nervous

ok in a few minutes lagi i'm gona go back home and get ready for my first geography class...ok! i'm Nervous here :S i have miss a few class ordy and for sure everyone will notice me as soon as i enter the class :s damn i don't wana get any attention....

will be posting lagi bisuk huhuh takut ku eeeeee

Thanks

To receive this award you must: 1.Copy badge "2008 Cute's 3logger Award" and paste it in your blog.

• done!

2.Link/write about the person who present this award to you.

• Sii Fadz
• well i don't kow her that much but she's a good friend and will always be heheh

3.Every blogger must state 10 facts/hobby about themselves before choosing the next award-receiver.

• jery is pengatil.
• jery is suka tawa tawa.
• jery is an observer.
• jery is having a crush now at someone :P
• jery is a very talkative girl especially with someone who has something in common with her.
• jery thinks that she thinks too much.
• jery is full of curiousity.
• jery is loving her new life.
• jery is hoping to get to know him.
• jery is playing the same song *crush-David Archuleta* over and over again till she fall asleep.

4.You must choose 10 next award-receiver and state their name in your blog.

• Basyir
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5.Don't forget to visit your friend's blog and tell them that they have been tagged.

• DONE!

A mixed up day *remind me of ambuyat/limau*

today is my last day of CNY holiday..i did my laundry diz morning send n pick up my bro and sister from ugama school..the usual things to do when im at home doing nothing..so yea im spoz 2 go 2 night class this year and i tot that the people frm the jabatan pendidikan lanjuT will contect the studnts lyk maybe a letter or a call telling that the class start at 19th january 2009 but no letter and call i assume that maybe it start bulan febuary so before i send my sister to school i call up the ofice asking about the class malam he told me that it ordy startd and i shud take my jadual there as always i panic~ lyk its 10days ordy wa i am way behind and i plan to take my exam diz june :s so my mood wasnt that good that aftrnoon i was rly kusuT so i ask my lil sis 2 get rdy erly and we when shoping 2 put aside my kusut-ness i bought stuff for my nyt class and i feel oky aftr that :p than udah d rumah i call up my dad 2 remind him 2 take my nyt class jadual and it was almst 4.30 ordy and my dad said na smpt huhu and like what i suspected i was mad and woried again..so i just do some surfing and i end up facebook-ing then it just click me that i shud google somebody's name :p huhu i google ak's name ahaha in my head was maybe he got blog or something and i end up ryt :p he got a blog hehe i read his post and stuff and and i actualy got a few info about him :p hehe he's 20 and his birthday is on the..*naah wont tell someone might guess who he is hehe let it be a secret but its on september tho* and he's very funny and got a vry2 good english :p *not like mine lol* i just wish i have the chance to get to know him..but maybe its impossible i dnt thnk it would happen *i wish it does tho lol* and maybe he got a gurlfriend ordy just maybe..a good looking mixd guy and who has a sense of humor doesn't have a girlfriend? its impossible..so yea i shud go now will be posting real soon..

A story to share during chinese new year

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR to all my friends at PCThree Techinologies and CFKing... I went to go visit a few of my dad's fwen ofcoz with my dad & family :p there is a very interesting thing happen infront of my eyes that day ahaha well it goes like this..

we were eating arah kem diluar rumah kawan my dad ane than there was this family infact 2 or 3 families with alot of kids i mean ALOT at first oky lah than i saw a little gurl maybe around 12-14 years old "mengaut" ayam goreng pat piring adik nya like segunung wah! LOL I was lyk whoo then she bring it to her mothr x than i ignor lah than the owner ada say something to one of the relative maybe "makan ah jangan tapau" damn that was embarrassing ahaha than ada tia pelayan ane mebawa minuman tin and ampai atas meja dapan my family duduk..baru jua the indian guy ampai all the drinks tarus lanyap! Then the indian guy simpan lagi lah the drinks and again lanyap just like that all the kids were like rly2 berabut than the 3rd n 4th tray datang and lyk idk...they were realy rushing towards the drinks NOW not even the kids the adult jua i was like whoo? My jaw was open for a minute inda lagi sadar ahaha i was realy2 shock and that was realy2 embrrassing and the sad thing is that the one who's doing it was all malay. I was like i can't think a thing lagi ahaha i shoud take a pic or two ahaha :p bt yea i was damn shock :p i didn't mean to offend anyone it's just that i found it realy2 shocking and i tot all the thing "they" say about people berabut2 ne na lah serius but what i saw ari tu was unbelieveable and we shud behave and jaga adat when we were in other people's house.. Oky chow

Pretty weird

Oky today i woke up early abis bebaju apa i when down kan cuci keta since batah udah na bersihkan than around 8.40+ kan kaja and i forgot to bring my spec so i just pakai my lens lah than i do my make up in the car while my bro drive and guess what hari ne somthing happen a custmor call asking for the promotion stuff and it ends with a very very weird thing he said

"you really shoud try the headset its the best headset ever"

lol hey who's sell-ing who ne~i was like daaa~my collegue said "probably he just wana flirt with you" "yea...right what ever that was so lame.."

Than the second thing happen ada this guy he look like pilipino or something and macam urang puteh jua antah lah he tgur lah and as usual i serve lah macam besa..I was speaking in both malay (a bit) and english (alot tell me about it -.-") all the time trying to explain about the stuff he ask for than he ask

"are u malay?" And i said "yea.." *curious face*

Than ia cakap im malay too and i was like damn ngleh ja ku panjang lebar cakap english *bekuluk2 lidah*

he was like trying to tease me..And in the end of the conversation was "thanks ah...by the way i'm jimmy"

lol i was blur =p i don't know what to say and i just smile lah and he did say something but i wasn't paying much attention lol

Than the third thing happen: there was this indian guy he ask for a monitor..he just go straight at me eventho my supervisor time tu like kan tunjukan the monitor tapi he just ignore and wait for me to Show him mana the monitor i was like wooh! Freaky~i said to myself "what happen to me today =s haha it's weird and really2 creepy~ahaha and my other colleague say "what did you do today ada pakai something ka" ahaha lol i don't do stuff like that even tho i have a witch nick name lol i knw i laugh like a witch and i like that ahaha ok out now chow Can't remember when is the day :p i post it on my hp forgot to take note the time and date

Hari highlight sedunia

worried face

Last night was pretty weird just after balik kaja i went to supersave at bribi..I was hoping ada sushi lol *bth dah kan makan ah* than udah sampai sana the sushi tngal 1 and na lagi nyman tu huhu so na jadi just buy keropok ja huhu than oo the way balik tu macam balik2 kana highlight by a white car who i thought was in a rush than i signal lah ke kiri than ia pun ikut ke kiri i was like wth!! And he kept oN highlighting me macam damn what's with you!! than i just speed up lah and he/she went anothr way..I was think-ing maybe got something kali di blakang keta ku ne*worried face*..But i just drive lah in my mind i just say "di rumah saja men-check"..sekali udah kan sampai rumah tu before masuk jalan to my house ada tia lagi urang meng-highlight macam two to three times like that thn i was saying to myself "hari highlight sedunia kali ari ne weird bnr" than i just ignore lah than udah sampai rumah i check my car as soon as i parked my car....and guess what?? Got nothing bah sh*t buat urang panic saja..

brand new handphone..

brand new handphone bought it with my own gaji heheh

Twilight Fever

hi again...i bet everyone have watched Twilight...and every girls is in love with Edward Cullen due to his looks and personalities in the movies...he's handsome...he's strong...he's hot...he's protective..he's...*ok i bet everyone knows what I'm trying to say* but my point of posting this one is not about him *even tho I'm so in love with his personality in the movie* it's about Alice Cullen.

*IF you have not read all the books this might spoil it all*

Alice is described as being petite and pixie-like at 4 ft 10 in (1.5 m), with a graceful gait and hair that is short, spiky, and black. Her special ability is to see the future, an enhanced version of her ability to have premonitions as a human. However, her ability is limited; she is only able to see the outcome of a decision once it is made. Due to this, decisions made in the spur of the moment can not be foreseen. Alice can see futures involving humans and vampires, though is unable to see the futures of werewolves or half-breeds, such as Renesmee. In Breaking Dawn, Alice theorizes that she can see vampires very clearly because she is one, can see humans somewhat less clearly because she was one, and cannot see werewolves or half-breeds because she never was one. Alice is portrayed as being bubbly and optimistic, and loves and cares for Bella like a sister. Her hobbies include shopping, make-overs, and throwing parties. Alice's early history is very vague, as she remembers nothing of her human life and woke up alone as a vampire. It is eventually revealed that she was born around 1901 in Biloxi, Mississippi, and was kept in an asylum because she had premonitions. Alice was changed by an old vampire who worked at the asylum in order to protect her from James, a tracker vampire who was hunting her. After doing some research, Alice found her grave and discovered that the date on her tombstone matched the date of her admission to the asylum. Through her research she additionally discovered that she had a little sister named Cynthia, and that Cynthia's daughter, Alice's niece, was still alive in Biloxi.

i was just wondering about her hair...since my bestfwen have dare me to cut my hair short i might consder taking her dare by cutting my hair just like her ahaha :P well haven't decide it yet tho hehehe but maybe i would let's see lah heheeh ok thn i dont know what to write lg heheh so chow? will be posting real soon..

Lady of Blood Countess Elizabeth Bathory

ok..as i promised i would write something about the bloody lady...since there is ALOT i mean really ALOT stories abou her so i'll just give you guys a little bit of what i get from the stories...here goes Throughout history Elizabeth Bathory has been called many things. Some people regard her as one of the first vampires. Other people see her as a mentaly ill nobelwoman. Still others view her as excessively cruel and vain. She is the Blood Countess and folktales tell us about her Castle of Vampires and drunken blood orgies. This is as close to the truth as we can get in this day and age. Elizabeth, sometimes known by her Hungarian name Erzebet, was born into a wealthy and one of the most powerful nobel families in Hungray. Her parents were Anne and George Bathory. Like many noble families of Europe, the Bathorys were extremely inbred and this resulted in many mental illnesses. While she was a cousin of King Stephan of Poland she also had some less mentional relatives like a schizophrenic uncle and an aunt who was bisexual and sadistic. Unfortunately, Elizabeth was not spared from her family's illness and displayed signs of a malady at an early age. Around the age of five she began to have epiletic fits and was all around a selfish, spoiled child. Like many nobel children of Europe she was raised by governesses who's only job was to cater to her every whim. She was also very beautiful and renowed for her fair, smooth complexion and raven tresses. Despite her fits and a slightly antisocial personality she was thought of as an intelligent young lady, although exteremly vain. By the time she was eleven Elizabeth was engaged to Count Fernencz Nadasdy. The count would later become known as "The Black Hero of Hungary" and a war hero. Like most marriages of the time, it was a political marriage and it's said to have been enginered by her mother. Despite this bethrolment at the age of fourteen Elizabeth gave birth to an illigetimate child who had been fathered by a peasant boy while at her mother-in-law's, Countess Ferencz Nadasday, residence. In May of 1575, long before women's lib, Elizabeth and the Count were married, she only fifteen, and retaining her maiden name of Bathory. The Count took the name of Bathory, this could have been because the Bathorys were much more powerful than the Nadasdy's, making this a savvy political move. Being a lover of war and the fighting, the Count was away for great peroids of time leaving Elizabeth to manage the household. As a result of these long peroids of seperation at the beginning of their marriage few children were born to them and it's very likely that left to her own unchecked devices and the influences of her aunt that she began to experiment with the sadistic practices. Also during this time peroid Elizabeth spent much time visitng her aunt Countess Karla Bathory. It's said this is where Elizabeth began to participate in her aunt's orgies. As was the custom of the time, servants of the nobility were treated with the greatest cruelty. Elizabeth was shown this at a very early age according to many sources. During her early childhood the Countess witnessed the execution of a gypsy. The gypsy was stuffed into the dissected belly of a live horse and sewn inside in a public spectacle, which was also common during this time peroid. Many nobles and members of the public attended this execution and there was no symphaty or remorse shown. This probably imprinted on the young countess that the lives of commoners were worthless. Due to her early influences of cruelty, while her husband was away Elizabeth gave into her carnal desires and began to develop an interest in dark witchcraft. She was tutored in the ways of tourture and black magick by her servant Thorko and encouraged her sadistic ways. It seems her husband took part in some of her torture, or at least was aware of it. Elizabeth was only in her early twenties. She began toruturing her servant girls under the premise of punishing them for failure to do trival tasks. Her traget age group appears to be teenage girls. Her various instruments of tourture went from ripping the girls apart with hot pokers, setting them on fire, pouring freezing water over them outside in the winter until they froze to death, and in the summer pouring honey over them and setting them outside for the insects to attack; a trick she learned from her husband. Another favourite toruture of hers was called "star-kicking" which was where oiled bits of paper were placed inbetween their toes and was then lit on fire. She is also said to have riped girls heads apart by pulling their mouths open until they tore at the edges and their necks snapped. (Ouch!) Also, Mrs. Bathory took pleasure in humiliating the girls by having them strip naked and preform household duties in the nude in full view of men. Her husband would often enjoy these torture sessions with his wife when he was home from wars. However, his stomach for the torture of young girls was less than Elizabeth's as it has been noted that he had been known to strom off in disgust. Eventually, the Count and Countess had children. Elizabeth gave birth to a son and two daughters in her late twenties. Luckily, the children were not included in her tortures, as victims or spectators. They were quickly given to the care of governesses and wet nurses. It's unlikely that their mother's sadistic ways were ever witnessed by them. They were, with the exception of their mother's strange fetishes, perhaps a normal nobel family of the time. All of this changed in 1604 with the death of Ferencz. His death has been attributed by some to the Countess but there is no solid evidence this ever took place. However, it's commonly accepted that Ferencz did die of poisioning. After the Count's death Elizabeth began to spend most of her time at a manor in Csejthe* (Cachtice) and an estate in Beckov.* This is where Elizabeth began to grow older, and her immense beauty had begun to wane. Her vanity lead her to try to cover this, not unlike many women today, with expensive clothes and cosmetics. Unfortunately, nothing covered the wrinkles and lines that so annoyed her. However, one day a servant girl attending to Elizabeth's hair either remarked something was wrong with her mistress' headdress or pulled her hair. This was a mistake however, because the outraged Countess slapped the girl's face so hard blood spurted from her nose. Some of that blood splashed onto Elizabeth's hand and after rinsing it off, she thought her skin had regained it's smooth, creamy complexion she was once famed for. Thus began her true obsession with blood over which her vanity would regin. After that faithful day, Elizabeth became conviniced blood was the fountain of youth. Her accomplices, servants who fancied themselves witches, Helena Jo, Dorka, and Darvulia agreed with her that bathing in blood, ecspecially that of virginal young women, would restore her lost youth. After this, the real blood baths began. She would kill young women in the most horrific ways possible so that she could bath in their blood, usually while it was still warm. However, they were never killed simply and humanly, often she would torture them for weeks or months before finally killing them. Her victims were pricked with pins, cut with scissors, prodded with sharp spikes or buring irons, and other horrific deaths. Along with bathing in their blood the Countess is reputed to have bitten them on the neck and breast and drank their blood also. Eventually, Castle Csejthe where she lived the majority of her adult life had a complete torture chamber. There was even a huge cage which hung from the ceiling with holes drained in the bottom to provide Elizabeth wtih a blood shower. During her manical reign of terror she killed hundreds of young girls. She started with pesant girls but when her supply of fresh virginal peasant women had run out, she began to tourture and kill young nobel women. She would convince young nobelwomen, of a lower rank than herself, to come for a visit. At one point she even set up a school for young nobelwomen of lower stations to come. However, they too became her victims. It is said that she killed upwards of 600 young girls in her quest for beauty. Even a noble woman like herself could not continue this sort of slaughter withough being questioned. Elizabeth's downfall began when she requested a Luteran pastor, Reverand Andras Berthoni to secretly bury her bloodless corpses. Once he saw the young women's corpses he began to become suspicious of what was going on in Castle Csejthe and started listening to the pesant rumours of Castle Csejthe being the "castle of the vampires." Before his death, Berthoni wrote about his supicions regarding Elizabeth in a note. A cousin of Elizabeth's, Count Thurzo came to Csejthe Castle after reading the note. Reverand Berthoni's successor, Reverand Janos Ponikenusz, Count Thurzo, and some castle servants found Elizabeths' torture chamer on New Year's Eve of 1610. To their horror, they not only found a torture chamber, but a great number of mutilated bodies of young women and the blood-soaked Countess herself. After this gruesome discovery, Count Thurzo wasted no time in prosecuting those who were responsible. Elizabeths' cohorts where charged with vampirism, witchcraft, and the praciticing of pagan rituals. All but two were beheaded. The two not beheaded had their fingers pulled off with red hot pokers and were then burned alive. For political reasons, and this must be kept in mind, the Countess Elizabeth Bathory never attended the trial of her accomplises or her own trial. Nor was the Countess herself ever put on trial for the same as her cohorts. She was charged on a purely criminal basis. Because she was a nobelwoman, Elizabeth could not be sentencted to death. Thus, she was sentenced to life imprisonment at the top of her castle in a tower with no windows or doors. The only opening was a small hole which allowed food to be passed thourgh once a day. This is where the Countess passed the rest of her life. Elizabeth Bathory died alone and in darkness in August of 1614, a captive in the cell to which she was sentenced. In today's society how such a crime could happen is a question that often comes up. We have laws, legislation, and restraints were are to follow and must always mind. Everyone is subject to these laws and legislation, in our society there is no immunity. However, in seventeenth century Hungry, this was not the case at all. There were laws which the Parliament of Hungary set down however the nobility were excluded from criminal prosectution. (Though after the horrible crimes of Elizabeth were exposed, the law which forbade the aristocracy from being persecuted as criminals was repealed.) Therefore, Elizabeth commited most of her crimes under criminal immunity. Just because of these laws however, does not make a ruler like Elizabeth. There have been many rulers who ruled as she did and did NOT commit such acts. It seems our Countess was predisposed to violence and sadism and the laws of her day only allowed this side of her personality to go unchecked. This predisposition was most likely caused by the mental illness which ran in her family due to constant inbreeding. Another factor in these crimes was Elizabeth's vanity. The bloodbaths for which she is notorious and the deaths of an estimated 650 young women are a testiment to her extreme vanity. There are a great number of eloquent accounts of Elizabeth's immense beauty, which was something highly regarded in a woman. Intelligence was not, therefore the Countess most likely placed more value on her looks than her intelligence and so when she realised her beauty was fading she was losing her worth as a woman. She would stop at nothing to regain this comodity, and trusted in her sorcery as she had been taught and had so enjoyed to regain it. These crimes continued for so long unchecked because Elizabeth was an arisocrat. She was administering "justice" and ruling her land as she saw fit, just as her ancestors did. It's speculated the only reason she was ever brought to trial was because the Parliment wished to considlate her family's land. Another theory was that her folly was preying on young noble women. The young girls of the nobelity were the only victims which were "missed" so to speak. The aristocracy regarded peasants as infereor and did not put value upon their lives. To kill a peasant in seventeenth century Hungray was nothing, however, the government, made of ariostocracy, would certainly miss perhaps their daughters, nieces, or cousins.

P/s: so much for a little bit of the story huh? LOL sowe guys have no tyme 2 summeris the story so i'll just copy and past the story from http://www.geocities.com/ and you guys can also read from http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/serial_killers/predators/bathory/countess_1.html ok that's all guys sowe again :P

I wish i have a room full of books

Hey sunshine..Its quite sometimes already that i haven't write 2 u..Oky..Last few days i have been face book-Ing and i have answered a very interesting quiz - which historically misunderstood person are you most likely be friend with? and after i have answered it my result was Lady of Blood Countess Elizabeth Bathory. Which at first i don't know who the hell is she. So yea..I figure it out that i should google it *i know I'm very curious* and i just found out that she's a serial killer who actually killed 600+ young ladies to maintain her beauty *my curiosity isn't that bad right at least i gain a little bit knowledge about it* Which on my next post I'll tell u guys a little bit of the story(won't spoil it right?)So yea..And i was asking my colleague about where to find rare and interesting story books and she did mention arah best Eastern x...so than i when surfing and Cari a few story book that i plan to buy *if i have enough money tho =p* so here is a few story books that i want

• The blood countess - Andrel Codrescu
• Twilight- Stephenie Meyer
• New Moon - Stephenie Meyer
• Eclipse - Stephenie Meyer
• Breaking Dwan - Stephenie Meyer
• Midnight Sun: Edward's Version of Twilight - Stephenie Myere
• Touch The Dark-Karen Chance
• Gaveyard Book -Neil Gaiman
• Crtain Sant Of Light - Laura Whitcomb
• Black & White Comes The Grey - Giovanna Lagana
• Just after midnight - Stephen King
• It - Stephen king
• The exorcist - William Peter
• The Vampire Lestat - Anne Rice

so yea..All the book is a horror type xp What Can i say =p i love 2 read whichis mysterious and rather scary one..So erm I'll be posting lg bisuk i guess?See u guys real soon and oh yea guys f u know any mysterious story or ghost or vampire like story i would love 2 know the title and the author plz and where 2 find the books in Brunei that would be a gr8 honer 2 me okay i got 2 go now..Chow

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Keep on singing

Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way, she did what she could to help her 3-year-old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling. They find out that the new baby is going to be a girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael sings to his sister in Mommy's tummy. The pregnancy progresses normally for Karen, an active member of the Panther Creek United Methodist Church in Morristown, Tennessee. Then the labor pains come. Every five minutes, every minute. But complications arise during delivery. Hours of labor. Would a C-section be required? Finally, Michael's little sister is born. But she is in serious condition. With siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushes the infant to the neonatal intensive care unit at St. Mary's Hospital, Knoxville, Tennessee. The days inch by. The little girl gets worse. The pediatric specialist tells the parents, "There is very little hope. Be prepared for the worst." Karen and her husband contact a local cemetery about a burial plot. They have fixed up a special room in their home for the new baby now they plan a funeral. Michael, keeps begging his parents to let him see his sister, "I want to sing to her," he says. Week two in intensive care. It looks as if a funeral will come before the week is over. Michael keeps nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are never allowed in Intensive Care. But Karen makes up her mind. She will take Michael whether they like it or not. If he doesn't see his sister now, he may never see her alive. She dresses him in an oversized scrub suit and marches him into ICU. He looks like a walking laundry basket, but the head nurse recognizes him as a child and bellows, "Get that kid out of here now! No children are allowed. The mother rises up strong in Karen, and the usually mild-mannered lady glares steel-eyed into the head nurse's face, her lips a firm line. "He is not leaving until he sings to his sister!" Karen tows Michael to his sister's bedside. He gazes at the tiny infant losing the battle to live. And he begins to sing. In the pure hearted voice of a 3-year-old, Michael sings: "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray..." Instantly the baby girl responds. The pulse rate becomes calm and steady. Keep on singing, Michael. "You never know, dear, how much I love you, Please don't take my sunshine away..." The ragged, strained breathing becomes as smooth as a kitten's purr. Keep on singing, Michael. "The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms..." Michael's little sister relaxes as rest, healing rest, seems to sweep over her. Keep on singing, Michael. Tears conquer the face of the bossy head nurse. Karen glows. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Please don't, take my sunshine away." Funeral plans are scrapped. The next day, the very next day, the little girl is well enough to go home! Woman's Day magazine called it "the miracle of a brother's song." The medical staff just called it a miracle. Karen called it a miracle of God's love! Never give up on the people you love.

p/s: the stories is from http://www.lovefatedestiny.com i cried reading this story...

Tree, Leaf and Wind

Tree

The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 girls when I was in Pre-U. There's one girl who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal. I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my girl, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years. She watch me chase after girls, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years. She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so. My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers. When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know whose the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school. I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too. During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says

"Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"

Leaf

During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another girl. I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like her, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a girl to ask him right? Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma

accompany me for 3 years. Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay.

Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay

Wind

Because I like a girl called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with girls there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him. One day, she didn't appear. I felt something missing. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left. Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly.

Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay.

I loved you too

So many thoughts...I don't know where to begin...

I'll start from my heart,and what I feel within...

I still have feelings, which haven't changed..

because when you left me my life was re-arranged.

I used to cry so many times a day...

but lately those tears have been fading away.

I am hoping that my brighter day soon will come...

and maybe, just maybe,I'll find that special someone.

Yes, it's been hard...

but I'm getting back my life...

I've even managed to put away the knife.

I will find someone who's right for me...

who loves me and let me be all I can be.

Yet the thought of you and her...

is tearing me apart...

because you will always have a special place in...

my broken heart.

Do I still love you?

Yes, I do,but another part of me is getting over you.

I never thought I would say this...

but I simply have to confess..

with each and every day that goes by...

I love you less and less.

I just wanted to be with you...

but now you're gone...

and the time has come for me to move on.

You meant so much to me...

in fact, you still do... from the bottom of my heart...

I loved you too.

p/s: this poem is actuly for someone who use to be my special someone who teach me how to love to the fullest and he show me what's true love is and what true pain is...just wishing you a very nice life without me =)

It's freaking me out

Dear life..Here goes my 1st emotional expression in 2009..Tonight i felt afraid..Someone actually show that he some sort of like me..And its making me uncomfortable wif it..He's been in my life for quite a number of years but honestly he's just like a brother to me..And not more than that and i really wish it will always stay like that..I'm very sorry but i just cant accept that he's showing and expressing his feelings 2 me..With what happen last 2 years..it somehow affected my life now..Life..honestly I'm afraid of love..And i am afraid of being in love evntho my life is boring and stuff i still enjoy it..Even if i felt rly lonely at times i just ignore it..4 me i believe that 1 day some1 out there will open up my heart but now i just ain't ready 4 it....its just that it seems just like it happen yesterday and i Can still feel the pain..I know its pathetic but that's what i felt...Its true..got to go now chow...

Lappy problem after less than a day fixed

Guess what happen 2 my lappy? My dad just send it to computer shop 2 get it fixed and it took them a few weeks 2 fix it and they reformat it! And damn!I lost all my songs!My fav.Songs!And all my pictures.. I know i had 2 let it go All my memories have been deleted! Anyways back to my lappy story my dad say they re4mt it and fix the socket tmpt charging 2..Guess what?? I have 2 switch da lappy off manualy it doesnt shut down automaticly aftr pResing da powr buTtN AND APERNTLY IT HAS A BLUE SCREEN! And my touch pad isn't working!!? Damn u guys fix-ing IT or making it even worst?Damn man it cost $40 just 2 get my lappy Even worst is it? NOW my lappy have been reformat by my technician supervisor "SAM" THANKS hehe and it doesn't cost a thing!FOC!!ahaha now my lappy runs completely okay and my TOUCH PAD is working! Damn the guy who fix..Let me say destroy my lappy..Now i just need a cooling fan 2 cool down my lappy while its running..Coz if i don't buy 1 4sure koNdeM 2 my lapy huhu AND the socket tempat charging 2 still loose! Have 2 claim everything! bh eh adang ku mengumplin chow..Will be posting back real soon..

Good Morning Sunshine

Good morning..I just woke up *sleepy face* hehe it's a rainy day out there..And a very good time to just continue sleeping lol! But yea i can't i have to go 2 work..Oh yea..I got things to do today..My lappy baru jua beambil kemarin the mouse thing-ing is No longer working! Damn! Ganas jua urang yang makai ah! *well it's not me* so i HAVE to buy a mouse..And i plan to buy a mOuse pad and skin cover for my lappy so let see lah later how..Hope my company give me the best best price lol ! So yea got to go now..Chow..

newly done...

Hey all..as you can see this is a very very new blog..which as a result making me a noob lol have been thinking 2 do the blog for about what a few months ago but since I’m sort of afraid and don’t know what to do with it so yea I thought I won’t do it lah…but enth ah it just come out that maybe 2009 is the right time to do the blog thing-ing :P since it’s January it could be the best time to start a new page of life kan? Hahah that’s what I think pulang…heheh anyway will be posting new thing lg lah liat lah heheh ok see you soon heheh chow…